Christmas
at Arlington or
the Lees, home for the holidays meant Arlington at Christmas. Robert
E. Lee felt this was a time when families should be together and, whenever possible,
he and his family returned to Arlington to share the season with Mary's parents.
Lee's occupation as an Army Engineer favored winter vacations, when the work was
shut down by weather. Frequently, hardships of travel and health had to be overcome
to reach Arlington at Christmas. But, despite these challenges, Robert was away
from Mary at Christmas only during the war in Mexico from 1846-1849 and in 1860
when he was stationed in Texas. Starting in 1831, the first year of the Lees'
marriage, Robert was at Arlington 20 out of a possible 30 Christmases while the
family lived there--a phenomenal record for a soldier on active duty for all those
years. The
observance of Christmas at Arlington was most immediately influenced by the deep
religious convictions of Mrs. Custis and Mr. Custis' love of George Washington,
Mount Vernon and all associations with that house that had been his home until
his Grandmother, Martha Washington, died in 1802. The fact that the Washingtons
had chosen the Christmas season 1758-59 to be married made their wedding anniversary,
January 6th an important part of the Arlington celebration. Christmas
at Arlington began on December 17, when Mr. Custis had the greens brought in.
The pine, ivy, holly and myrtle filled Arlington and were kept fresh through the
twelve days of Christmas. Mistletoe was suspended from lanterns and arches. Any
unsuspecting loiterer, found beneath, was required to forfeit a kiss. On Christmas
Eve, Mr. Custis supervised the placement of the yule log. A piece of the log from
the previous Christmas was used to ignite the highly decorated log of the new
season. This old Norse and Anglo-Saxon custom was an important part of the Arlington
Christmas celebration. Christmas
day itself began with 'Christmas gifting' of family members, guests and servants
followed by morning prayer and breakfast. Then, weather permitting, the family
attended services at Christ Episcopal Church in Alexandria where Robert and Mary
had worshiped since childhood. After exchanging season's greetings with town friends
and family the carriage would return to Arlington in time for the feast. The celebration
continued until Robert had to return to duty in January. As
the Lee family grew with the births of seven children between 1832 and 1846, Christmas
at Arlington became very child oriented. Books, dolls, boots, skates, and a tool
chest were among the gifts exchanged on this day. Christmas
1846 found Robert E. Lee away from his family and Arlington at Christmas for the
first time in 15 years. From his tent near a small Mexican town he wrote to Custis
and Rooney on Christmas Eve: I
hope good Santa Claus will fill by Rob's stockings tonight that Mildred's, Agnes's,
and Annals may break down with good things. I do not know what he may have for
you and Mary, but if he only leaves for you one half of what I wish, you will
want for nothing. I have frequently thought if I had one of you on each side of
me riding on ponies, such as I could get you, I would be comparatively happy.
Robert
wrote separately to 'My Dearest Mary' on Christmas Day and he described his Christmas
dinner. The table was decorated with pine and oranges and bottles of wine. The
feast featured roasted turkey and chicken and, among other good things, eggnog.
He had made use of the Mount Vernon flatware which Mr. Custis had sent with him.
It was placed at the Commanding Officer's place and admired by all. He continued
to remember with Mary the Christmases they had shared.
We
have had many happy Christmas' together, and this is the first time that we have
been entirely separated at this holy time since our marriage, and though I have
been absent on two or three other occasions on the day itself, yet have not been
far distant and always arrived during the holy days. We have therefore nothing
to complain of and I hope it has not interfered with your happiness, surrounded
as you are by father, Mother, children and dear friends. I therefore trust you
are well and happy and that this is the last time I shall be absent from you during
my life. May God preserve and bless you till then and forever after is my constant
prayer. This
family, like many others, would not be reunited until the end of the war. Their
next Christmas together would be celebrated between assignments for Lee, in 1848,
at Arlington. Christmas
1849 found the Lees settled in Baltimore where Robert was working on the construction
of Fort Carroll. They returned to Arlington for every Christmas until 1852. The
celebrations were grand, as Lee described in a letter to his eldest son, Custis,
who was absent in 1851. We
came on Wednesday morning. It was a bitter cold day, and we were kept waiting
an hour in the depot at Baltimore for the cars, which were detained by the snow
and ice on the rails. We found your grandfather at the Washington depot, Daniel
and the old carriage and horses, and young Daniel on the colt Mildred. Your mother,
grandfather, Mary Eliza, the little people and the baggage, I thought load enough
for the carriage, so Rooney and I took our feet in our hands and walked over .
. . .The snow impeded the carriage as well as us, and we reached here shortly
after it. The children were delighted at getting back, and passed the evening
in devising pleasure for the morrow. They were in upon us before day on Christmas
morning, to overhaul their stockings. Mildred thinks she drew the prize in the
shape of a beautiful new doll; Angelina's infirmities were so great that she was
left in Baltimore and this new treasure was entirely unexpected. The cakes, candies,
books, etc., were overlooked in the caresses bestowed upon her, and she was scarcely
out of her arms all day. Rooney got among his gifts a nice pair of boots, which
he particularly wanted, and the girls, I hope, were equally pleased with their
presents, books, and trinkets. Your
mother, Mary, Rooney, and I went into church, and Rooney... skated back along
the canal (Rooney having taken his skates along for the purpose,) and we filled
his place in the carriage with Miss Sarah Stuart, one of M.'s comrades, Minny
Uoyd was detained at home to assist her mother at dinner but your Aunt Maria Fitzhugh
brought her and Miss Lucretia Fitzhugh out the next day, and Wallace Stiles and
his brother arriving at the same time, we had quite a table-full... I
need not describe to you our amusements, you have witnessed them so often; nor
the turkey, cold ham, plum pudding, mince-pies, etc. at dinner. I hope you will
enjoy them again, or some equally as good... From
1852-1854, Colonel Lee's position as Superintendent of the Military Academy at
West Point required the elder Lees' presence during the holidays, so they were
away from Arlington for Christmas. In 1856, Lee was absent from the Arlington
Christmas celebrations once again after he was transferred to Texas with the Second
United States Cavalry. However, his thoughts were with his wife and children,
as he wrote to them from afar: The
time is approaching when I trust many of you will be assembled around the family
hearth at dear Arlington, to celebrate another Christmas. Though absent, my heart
will be in the midst of you, and I shall enjoy in imagination and memory, all
that is going on. May nothing occur to mar or cloud the family fireside, and may
each be able to look back with pride and pleasure at their deeds of the past year
and with confidence and hope to that in prospect. I can do nothing but hope and
pray for you. Again,
only a few days before Christmas, he wrote: I
have been recalling dearest Mary the many happy Christmases we have had together,
and the pleasure I have enjoyed with you, your dear parents and the children around
me. I ought not therefore to repine at an occasional separation from you, but
be grateful for what I have had, and be prepared to keep this solitary and alone
My prayers and thoughts will be with you and all will receive my fervent salutations.
I hope nothing will be omitted that I could have done, to make each one happy. Lee
was back at Arlington for Christmas in 1857, on leave from the army to manage
the affairs of the Arlington plantation, in the wake of Mr. Custis's death. Duties
connected with the estate would keep him at Arlington through Christmas the following
year. In
the spring of 1860, Lee returned to Texas and stayed there through the following
winter. As Christmas, 1860 approached, Mrs. Lee's health and the unsettled state
of national affairs precluded any thought of her going West. With the election
of Abraham Lincoln in November, South Carolina seceded. Concern for the future
of the Union was reflected in Colonel Lee's Christmas greeting:
Although
you anticipated a quiet Christmas, I hope it was a happy one to you all, and that
you were filled with gratitude for the many blessings that surrounded you. Although
distant, my heart and thoughts were ever present with you and my prayers were
offered for Heavens choicest benefits for you all.... Here we are far removed
and get the essence of all disunion movements from the New Orleans papers....
I am particularly anxious that 'Virginia should keep right, and inauguration of
the Constitution, so I would wish that she might be able to maintain it and save
the union.' Unfortunately
this was not to be and, as it turned out, Christmas of 1860 would be the Lee family's
last at Arlington. As Virginia was on the verge of secession in April 1861, Robert
E. Lee resigned from the U.S. Army and the family left Arlington for good shortly
before the estate was occupied by U.S. Army troops in May 1861. Text
by Agnes Mullins, former Curator, Arlington House, The Robert E. Lee Memorial |