Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual's, their families and friends are all part of the Sandia team working at administrative, technical, and management level positions. How Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual workers are treated and the general environment affects not only the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual population, but also a much broader population at Sandia. Many people at Sandia have children, siblings and other relatives, friends and coworkers who are Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay. Providing an environment that supports the honesty, integrity, respect, trust, responsibility, and citizenship permits us the opportunity to achieve excellence in our workplace. Bisexuals, Gay, and Lesbians are also part of our customer base. SNL comes into contact with a wide diversity of people in university, business, and government communities as it performs its duties as a prime contractor to the Department of Energy. Some of these people are Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian or know someone who is Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian. Many of the businesses we come into contact with have very progressive attitudes toward Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual people in the workplace. They have nondiscrimination policies and offer equal benefits to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual persons. If Sandians make derogatory comments about Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual persons when they are in contact with some of our business customers, they may harm the image of Sandia and jeopardize business negotiations.

What does it mean to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender?

Being gay or lesbian means that you have strong physical, emotional and romantic feelings for people of the same sex. Being bisexual means you are attracted to both men and women.

Transgender is a term that describes a broad range of people who experience and/or express their gender somewhat differently from what most people expect. It is an overarching term that covers a wide spectrum of gender expressions and identities, including those who identify as transvestites, drag kings/queens, transsexuals and androgynes as well as anyone expressing gender characteristics that don't correspond with characteristics traditionally ascribed to the person's sex or presumed sex. Many intersexed people also consider themselves part of the transgender community.

It should be noted that sexual orientation (being gay, lesbian or bisexual) and gender identity (whether you feel you are male, female or some combination of both) are two distinct though often related concepts. For example, transgender people may be gay, lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.

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How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender?

There is no foolproof way to determine your sexual orientation or gender identity. Some people say that from the time they were very young they knew they were different while others don't realize their identities until later in life. Feelings of a sexual nature can be confusing at any age, but more so if they are directed at members of your own sex.

Moreover, sexual behavior does not necessarily determine sexual orientation - especially during adolescence, when experimentation is common. For example, some adolescents may identify themselves as gay or bisexual without having had any sexual experience with someone of the same sex. Other people have had such experiences, but do not identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Coming to the realization that you are transgender may also be confusing. There are many definitions of transgender - the broadest of which is one who bends, challenges or stretches traditional gender roles. Some transgender people define themselves as female-to-male or male-to-female transsexual and take hormones prescribed by a doctor; some undergo sex-reassignment surgery. Some are cross-dressers who identify as their gender at birth but sometimes dress in clothing of the opposite gender. Others are transvestites who cross-dress for sexual gratification or to express their transgender nature. And some people simply identify as transgender because they don't feel comfortable with exclusively male or female gender identities. Remember that any number of these descriptions may apply to you, and what you call yourself is still your decision.

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Is homosexuality a sickness?

No. Until the early 1970s, the majority of mental health studies about gay, lesbian and bisexual people focused on those who were in therapy, which created the false perception that homosexuality was a disorder. When researchers began focusing on people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was an illness lost credibility. Objective scientific research showed that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is not associated with mental illness.

In 1973, this new research led the American Psychiatric Association to remove the word "homosexuality" from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the handbook that psychiatrists and other mental health professionals use to diagnose patients.

In 1975, the American Psychological Association passed a resolution that stated: "Homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social and vocational capabilities; further, the American Psychological Association urges all mental health professionals to take the lead in removing the stigma of mental illness that has long been associated with homosexual orientations."

"The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Study after study documents the mental health of gay men and lesbians. Studies of judgment,stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals, nor is homosexuality a matter of individual choice.

Research suggests that the homosexual orientation is in place very early in the life cycle, possibly even before birth. It is found in about ten percent of the population, a figure which is surprisingly constant across cultures, irrespective of the different moral values and standards of a particular culture. Contrary to what some imply, the incidence of homosexuality in a population does not appear to change with new moral codes or social mores." (American Psychological Association statement on homosexuality July, 1994).

"Homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgement, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities. The American Psychiatric Association calls on all international health organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries, to urge the repeal in their own country of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. And further, the APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur." (The American Psychiatric Association, December 1992)

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Is transgenderism a disability?

Unlike sexual orientation, transgenderism - technically "gender identity disorder" (GID) - is still deemed a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association. Medical professionals tend to believe that transgenderism is a medical and mental health condition that may require treatment rather than labeling it a mental illness.

There is disagreement among some transgender leaders about attempts to remove GID from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Some want it removed because they feel it stigmatizes transgender people and provides a pretext for discrimination against them. They also believe it may cause harm to children when parents seek treatment for a child although the child may merely be expressing gender variance. Some transgender people believe it is not the condition but society's rigid approach to sex and gender that are problematic. Others want GID to remain because a GID diagnosis in some states could qualify as a disability, for which medical coverage could be available and to which disability discrimination provisions could apply.

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Can therapy change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity?

No. During the past decade, the so-called "ex-gay" movement has spread misinformation about changing sexual orientation through therapy. Their main message is that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is an illness that can be cured by attending an ex-gay ministry and engaging in prayer and counseling - or sometimes, taking drugs or undergoing shock therapy.

It is vital to note, however, that these methods are roundly rejected by most psychological, medical and psychiatric organizations, including the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association.

What is coming out?

Coming out means identifying and accepting yourself as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person. The first person you have to reveal this to is yourself, and you can do it at any time in your life - in your teens, middle age or old age.

Coming out to others is something that you are likely to do repeatedly. For example, you may come out to a family member, friend or co-worker, or you may do it while filling out a credit card application or seeing a doctor. In almost all cases, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes.

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Why should I come out?

There are many reasons. Most people who accept themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender feel better about being honest with others - and many are proud of their identity or orientation. Coming out also makes it easier to meet other GLBT people.

Another compelling reason to come out is that it offers you the chance to educate other people. When we come out, after all, we put a face on GLBT America and make familiar what may have once been unfamiliar and, therefore, frightening.

National polls also have shown that people who know a gay or lesbian person are far more likely to support equal rights for all gay people. In other words, coming out may be just one step in the life of a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person but it contributes to a giant leap for all GLBT people. For more information, visit coming out and public opinion.

What should I consider before coming out?

Here are some tips that may help:

Get a sense of how the person you wish to come out to might react beforehand. For example, you might watch a TV show or movie that has gay characters and then discuss it.
Be aware of what is going on in the life of the person you wish to tell and try to pick a time when he or she can be most supportive.
Be prepared for a wide range of reactions. Your confidant may be shocked, angry or not surprised at all. He or she might even come out to you!
Remember how long it has taken you to come to terms with your sexual orientation or gender identity and give the person you are telling the same kind of time to adjust.
If you are still in school and want to confide in a teacher or counselor, first learn the school's confidentiality policy. Faculty or staff may be required to tell someone else. (You should be able to request a copy of the policy from the main school office.)
Just as you may have needed information and support in coming out, know that the person you tell may need more information and support.
Suggest that he or she contact the Human Rights Campaign's Family Net project and Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.

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What if people claim that I'm "flaunting" my sexual orientation?

GLBT people are often accused of flaunting their sexuality when they come out, are publicly affectionate with a same-sex partner, wear gay symbols or participate in pride parades. But in a world that still assumes that all people are heterosexual and experience fixed and rigid gender identities, coming out is the only way GLBT people can make their sexual orientations and/or gender identities known. Stressing one's sexuality or gender identity also can be an important act of self-affirmation.

Yet there is a difference between being forthright and flaunting. Most GLBT people are not out to make a statement. They simply want to be able to incorporate the many aspects of their lives the way heterosexuals do - by talking about their partners, wearing a commitment ring or putting a photo of a life partner in the office.

What if my family wants me to seek counseling?

First understand their motivation: Do they want you to feel more comfortable with your sexual orientation or gender identity, or do they hope you can be "cured?" If your family's desire for you to have counseling stems from their misperceptions about what it means to be GLBT and a mistaken belief that you can and should change, assure them that you are healthy and happy and that being who you are is normal and natural for you. If they continue to encourage counseling, suggest that they attend with you. They may need as much assistance dealing with your coming out as you do.

But don't immediately discount their suggestion. It is not unusual for GLBT people to seek counseling. Many find it a useful opportunity to explore their inner identity or cope with rejection from others. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement, "Homosexuality and Adolescence," which appeared in the October 1993 issue of Pediatrics:

"Counseling may be helpful for young people who are uncertain about their sexual orientation or for those who are uncertain about how to express their sexuality and might profit from an attempt at clarification through a counseling or psychotherapeutic initiative."

If you do decide to seek counseling, it is a good idea to find a GLBT-friendly one. Visit the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists or the Wildflower Resource Network, both of which offer referrals to GLBT-friendly mental health professionals.

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Do family and friends of GLBT people also come out?

Yes. Family and friends come out as they acknowledge that they know and love a GLBT person and then take the next step by coming out to others about their GLBT family members. For some, this happens when they attend their first Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) meeting or pride celebration. Or parents may decide to come out when someone asks them when their son is "finally going to get married" or by responding to an anti-gay joke at the family reunion. If you are the parent of a GLBT child, you can find helpful advice on HRC FamilyNet.

Is it against the law to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation?

It depends on where you are. "Although federal law prohibits employment discrimination based on race, religion, sex and other characteristics, there is no federal prohibition against discrimination based on sexual orientation, except among federal civilian employees. Moreover, in 38 states, a person can be fired, barred from renting an apartment or turned away from hotels, restaurants and other public accommodations just for being - or being perceived to be - gay, lesbian or bisexual."
Information from "The State of the Family", The Human Rights Campaign

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Is it against the law to harass or discriminate against students based on sexual orientation?

Nationwide, only

"seven states (California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, Vermont and Wisconsin) and the District of Columbia have safe school laws that prohibit harassment or discrimination to students based on sexual orientation."

Therefore,

"many students who experience harassment or discrimination Ã– have no clear legal recourse."

This applies whether the student is gay or is perceived to be gay.
Information from "The State of the Family", The Human Rights Campaign

Why is a rainbow flag used as a symbol by the gay community?

The rainbow flag symbolizes the diversity of the LGBT and Ally community. Across all races and cultural backgrounds, across all languages, with or without disabilities, across all religions, - there is no gay or lesbian "lifestyle"; there are only gay or lesbian people, each one unique. Use of the rainbow flag by the gay community began in 1978, and it is officially recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers.

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What is PFLAG?

"PFLAG " is Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays. They are a national support, education and advocacy organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) people, their families, friends and allies. With over 80,000 members and supporters, and local affiliates in more than 460 communities across the U.S. and abroad, PFLAG is the largest grassroots-based family organization of its kind. PFLAG is a non-profit organization and is not affiliated with any religious or political institutions.

PFLAG supports GLBT people, their families and friends through local PFLAG chapter helplines and support group meetings. PFLAG educates families and provides public education on sexual orientation, gender identity and GLBT issues. PFLAG chapters educate their communities through a variety of local projects and nationally PFLAG continues to provide fair and accurate information about GLBT people and their loved ones. PFLAG also advocates for equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. Locally, PFLAG activists work for change in their communities.

Are gay people religious?

Just as heterosexuals show a diverse spectrum of faith and religious tradition; Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhists, and agnostics, to name a few; gay people also have as many different faiths. The largest gay organization in the world is the Metropolitan Community Church. This fact demonstrates the depth of spirituality that is present in the GLB community.

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Can being around a gay person cause children to become gay?

The origin of sexual orientation is not fully understood. However, there is no evidence that exposure to a gay person will effect one's sexual orientation. During the last 15 years, study after study has shown that children of gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexuals than children of heterosexuals. Looking at the other side of the coin: The vast majority of gay people were raised in straight households, educated by heterosexual teachers, and socialized with heterosexual siblings and friends. They were surrounded by heterosexism in magazines, books, movies and on television. Yet this heterosexual environment did not create a heterosexual orientation. (American Psychiatric Association and Jane Gross, "New Challenge of Youth: Growing up in Gay Homes", New York Times, February 11, 1991.)

Often the proposition that gay people will negatively influence society is used to try and force gay people into the closet. This does have a detrimental effect on gay people. Tolerance and respect for people who are different (and law abiding citizens) has been shown to have only positive effects on society. "When any group tries to impose its values on everyone else, the result will inevitably be resentment, hatred and violence." (Senator Warren Rudman)

Research suggests that the homosexual orientation is in place very early in the life cycle, possibly even before birth. It's [frequency] is surprisingly constant across cultures, irrespective of the different moral values and standards of a particular culture. (The American Psychological Association)

Thirty-five different studies have shown that children of gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexuals than children of heterosexuals, and are just as well adjusted. (Jane Gross, "New Challenge of Youth: Growing up in Gay Homes", New York Times, February 11, 1991.)

"Family fears of catching homosexuality, or of being recruited at school or elsewhere are utterly without scientific foundation." (Dr. Jack Weinberg, President American Psychiatric Association, October 6, 1977.)

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Can same-sex couples marry in the United States?

Nowhere in the United States of America can a same-sex couple legally marry. In 2000, Vermont passed a law permitting a "civil union" program, providing Vermont's state rights and benefits to couples. This does not include the federal ones, which number over 1,000, and include, among other things, immigration and tax benefits. In California, same-sex couples registered as domestic partners, receive about a dozen benefits (There are over 300 state benefits that married couples (opposite sex couples) receive. There is no domestic partner registry in New Mexico. On April 1, 2001, The Netherlands became the only country where same-sex marriage is legal, giving couples all of the benefits and responsibilities as their opposite-sex counterparts.
Information from Marriage Equality California

Can same-sex domestic partners file a joint tax return?

No. According to the IRS, the requirements for joint filing are:

If you are considered married, then you may file jointly. A marriage means only a legal union between a man and a woman as husband and wife. (For opposite sex couples: You are considered married if you are living together in a common law marriage that is recognized in the state where you now live or in the state where the common law marriage began. -15 states)

What about filing Head of Household?

You can only file as head of household if you meet all of the following requirements. 1) You are unmarried. 2) You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year. 3) A qualifying person lived with you in the home for more than half the year. A qualifying person is a family member related by marriage or blood, or a foster child. Therefore, in a household without children, unmarried couples can only file single returns.

Can one claim the other as a dependent?

In order to claim your partner as a dependent, your relationship must not be in violation of local law, your partner must have lived with you for the entire year, and in addition to some other requirements, made less than $2,900 last year. (From Publication 501- Exemptions, Standard Deductions, and Filing Information. 2001)

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