A man wakes up one bright, sunny Saturday morning and decides to go 
play golf for the day. He goes down stairs to his wife and 
before he can tell her his plans she asks, "Are you going to paint
the house today dear?" to which he replies,
"What do I look like Sherwin Williams?" 

Then his wife asks,
"Well are you going to change the tire on my car then?" to which he replies,
"What do I look like, Mr. GoodWrench?" 

After these exchanges the man tells his wife that he is going to play golf
for the day. Upon returning home that evening the man 
discovered that the house was painted and his wife's tire was changed. 

He went inside and asked his wife who did the chores. She replied,
"The man next door." 

The man said, "That was very nice of 
him but did you have to pay him?" 
His wife responded, "Yes, he gave me a choice. 
I could either make him dinner or sleep with him."

The man answered, "What did you make him for dinner?" to 
which his wife responded, "What do I look like, Betty Crocker?"