America's grandparents believe they are sharing a number of roles with parents in raising their grandchildren. More than half believe they are making a very important contribution to the lives of their grandchildren, according to a broad new look at the grandparent-grandchild relationship from the point of view of the grandparents, done by AARP (formally known as the American Association of Retired Persons).1

Among the most important tasks that grandparents take on is talking with their grandchildren about a variety of issues. Most popular topics of conversation between grandparents and their grandchildren are issues such as school (84 percent), morals or values (78 percent), planning future visits (72 percent), and daily activities (72 percent).2

While grandparents feel that their grandchildren are more likely to discuss serious issues with their parents, some believe their grandchildren are equally as likely to talk to them about religion, drinking, drug use, and other sensitive topics. Almost two-thirds (65 percent) of grandparents speak with their grandchildren about religion and spirituality, and almost half report talks about cigarettes (47 percent), alcohol use (43 percent), and illegal drugs (45 percent).3

Making the most of chances to talk about tough issues like alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs is one way that grandparents can help keep youth mentally healthy and drug free. Children are curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. They are exposed to drug messages on TV, in the movies and videos, in newspapers and magazines, at school, on the Internet, and in talks with friends and family. Even if parents and grandparents have done a great job of educating and taking care of children, some will still be curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Their sources of drug information may not always be correct or have their best interests at heart. But grandparents do. That's why the unique relationship between grandparent and grandchild provides an ideal opening for a discussion of the dangers of drugs.

Some grandparents may not know what to say when it comes to talking to their grandchildren about drugs. Research shows that grandparents are looking for help on how to talk to their grandkids about difficult topics and, according to a recent AARP survey, 54 percent of grandparents would find information about discussing drugs somewhat or very useful.4

To help grandparents keep their grandchildren drug free, the Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers the following tips5:

  1. Start: It is never too early to prevent your grandchildren from trying drugs. Building protective factors (things that lower a child's chances of engaging in risky behavior), such as letting your grandchild know you care, play an important role in keeping them from turning to drugs. State your position clearly and often. One of the major reasons teens decide not to use drugs is the fear that their parents or other family members will lose respect for them. Teens do not want to let down their families.
  2. Connect: Take the chance to build lines of communication and do things regularly with your grandkids. Spend time together—eat dinner with them, read together, play a game, go shopping, go to the movies or a baseball game, or go sightseeing together. Use opportunities like family gatherings or inviting your grandchildren to stay over to show that having fun doesn't require drugs.
  3. Listen: Take a more active interest in what is going on in your grandchild's life. Listen to their cares and concerns by fostering family openness and communication. In this way, teens will feel more comfortable to open up to you when they need your advice.
  4. Educate: Set a goal to spend 15-30 minutes this month discussing the dangers of using drugs with your grandkids. Continue the discussion on a regular basis.
  5. Care: Make sure your grandchildren know you care that they are drug free.
  6. Support: Explain to your grandchild that you are always there for them—no matter what happens. Make sure that they know to come to you for help or information.
  7. Learn: Children today are sophisticated. In order to educate your grandchild about the dangers of drugs, you need to educate yourself first. Talk with others in your community and learn about what messages kids are flooded with everyday through peers, school, and the media. You can help teens sift through those messages and figure out right from wrong. Grandparents should also be aware of all the risks drugs pose.
  8. Lead: Young people are as aware of what you do, as they are of what you say. Don't just say the right things, do the right things. Set a good example. If you have a substance abuse problem, get help.

Sources

1 AARP. 7/15/2002, American Grandparents Taking an Active Role in Helping Raise Grandchildren, AARP Survey Finds, last referenced 10/15/03.

2 Ibid.

3 Ibid.

4 AARP. Grandparenting Survey, November 1999.

5 Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Grandparents Hold A Key to Keeping Teens Drug-Free, last referenced 10/15/03.

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