02.04.2008 — People often ask Thad and me about how Chinese culture is different from American culture. It's a hard question to answer because I want to just say, "Everything!"
 
Sometimes our students will say to us, "Tell us about American culture." We never know where to start with such a broad topic. The problem lies in that culture includes so many different things: manners, religion, habits, family, rites, eating habits, etc.
 
After being in China for a year and a half, I have come to greatly respect a lot of things about the culture here while I don't like others. Their view of families is a wonderful example of both sides of the coin. Families here are super important and elders are respected and treated well. Children take care of their parents as they age; grandparents babysit grandchildren while the parents work; it is common to see three generations of women together in the market. This closeness is wonderful and to be admired. But, such closeness also brings about a heavy burden for the younger generation. I have students who study English because their parents have told them to, even though they are really passionate about art or music. Because their parents said English would be the best major, that is what they go to school to learn. Students who want to travel and see more of the world are pulled back to their small villages by ties to family members. So, while the respect of the elderly and closeness of family can be a good thing, it is hard to watch students let their parents make all of their important life decisions and dictate what they will do with their lives. There has to be a middle ground.
 
This entry is not about families, even though it veered that way. Getting back to the idea of culture and how I love so much that is here, there is one thing that really drives me batty and it has to do with eating habits.
 
Those who know me well know that I have a few "food issues." I've always been a picky eater and my "issues" include such things as not eating condiments (other than Miracle Whip), not eating meat with a bone, not eating tater-tots because they look like trashcans and the list goes on and on.
 
When we accepted the invitation to China (or even began to apply to Peace Corps) I realized that I would have to learn to be more flexible with my eating habits. I was willing to try, but I will always be me! I figured as long as I was in control of the food on my plate, I could survive. Yes, I might have to sample some strange things, but I could sample and be done.
 
It was a nice idea...
 
There is where eating habits and culture come into play. In China, it is common that when you go out to dinner with a group of friends or co-workers, that whoever is sitting next to you will add food to your bowl. It is polite to make sure the person next to you has enough food and to serve them more when things are running low. Well, for most people, that probably works out well, but for issue-laden folk like me, not good!
 
Tonight we went to hotpot with the entire English department. It was a combined end-of-term party and going away party for one of the teachers. I smartly sat myself between two people who I knew would not put food in my bowl. (Planning ahead, or so I thought!) Not long into the meal, the man sitting two people away from me decided it was time to make sure the foreigner bowl never emptied, so he proceeded to fill my bowl with all sorts of things from the pot in the middle of the table. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! At first I tried to wave him off and say no, but that didn't work, so I resigned myself to a bowl full of food I wouldn't eat and spending the rest of the evening pretending like I was enjoying it, while simultaneously hiding it! Haha! I didn't want to offend him, so this was my best course of action. That was the end of my actual eating for the evening, but it was still nice to sit and chat with everyone.
 
Thad was at the neighboring table and when he looked over I mouthed that my bowl was being filled with undesirable food. (Okay, maybe I used a word a bit harsher than "undesirable," but you get the idea! My mom reads this after all.) Knowing that this is the thing that probably drives me the most nuts in China, he giggled and went back to his meal. Thanks!