addendum to the below just-posted message...

When I taught in Korea, I was bewildered by all of the last-day-of-class
gifts from students (in English Conversation/Writing classes?).  The
palpable daily honors and respect were certainly different experiences than
in the general American culture experiences I've had.

The honor certainly goes to the profesors; professors are taken to dinner,
not the graduates.  The family budget reveres the professors, not the
graduate.  Many a senior there in Korea would ask me if it was really true
that in the USA many students get cash, lots of it, at graduation????

Of course, on the other side of the coin, many many many more Korean
families PAY 'all' for their children's education -- and would not dream of
asking their children to work until after graduation.  Education is first.
period.  Education is honored.  Gloriously.

[the perceived need in the US for promoting 'lifelong learning' is an odd
practice indeed, in the eyes of many Asian students I have conversations
with...]
Holly

On Tue, Jun 3, 2008 at 9:47 AM, Holly Dilatush <holly at dilatush.com> wrote:


> Hello all,

>

> When I began reading the below copied post, I knew what was coming!!!  I

> learned this same lesson in a different way:  Years ago, I befriended a

> Korean classmate (at univ).  After three years of friendship, she was

> graduating -- and her (American) boyfriend and I wanted to throw her a

> "Shhhhhh!  surprise graduation party" -- at a nature center -- with favorite

> professors and a few friends and flowers and poetry and lots of her favorite

> colors in the decorations -- all things she loved.  Well, she WAS

> surprised!!!  Was she ever....

> She cried and cried and cried.... and looked so bewildered.   I knew she'd

> had financial struggles, as the money sent from home was barely enough to

> get her through, she'd been working part time, etc...  Later, the boyfriend

> and I learned that going through her mind was the reality (*reality*) that

> she was now obligated to return gifts of equal value or more to each of

> us.... and the fact that we'd invited professors (who are revered in Korea)

> compounded the horror.

>

> We spent hours and hours trying to convince her that this was a gift of

> love from us -- not of horror -- and that American culture and our intent

> were oh, so different from her initial interpretation.

>

> Now, she's married the boyfriend and has been in the US nearly 20 years, so

> we can finally laugh about it.  But we were all devastated when it happened.

> Holly

>

>

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