Handout
Capacity Building

HO'OPONOPONO:
AN ANCIENT HAWAIIAN METHOD
OF SOLVING FAMILY AND PERSONAL PROBLEMS

Ho'oponopono is based on the need for everyone in the 'ohana (family) to work together to aid in each other's health. Aloha is the spirit that ties the 'ohana together and it is the underlying compassion that sets the tone for ho'oponopono.

Five conditions must be understood by 'ohana members before ho'oponopono can begin:
  1. Each individual in the 'ohana must share a common commitment to be part of the problem solving process.
  2. All words and deeds that are part of a ho'oponopono will be shared in an atmosphere of oia 'i'o, the very spirit of truth.
  3. The 'ohana must share a common sense of aloha for one another or be committed to reinstating that spirit.
  4. Everything that is said in the ho'oponopono is done in confidence and will NOT be repeated when the session is completed.
  5. The Haku (leader) must be commonly agreed on as a fair and impartial channel through which the ho'oponopono is done.

HO'OPONOPONO
("To Set Right")

Definition of Terms



'OHANA Family-blood ties, more recently a very close grouping
HAKUAn unbiased mediator, one that is respected by all
'AUMAKUA Family god often represented by a living creature or plant
PULE WEHEOpening prayer, usually said to the family aumakua
KUKULU KUMUHANAA clear, objective statement of the problem made by the haku or a pooling of mana or energy
MAHIKITo peel off. This is when the problem is discussed.
HIHIATangling of emotions that hinder forgiveness
HALAFault or transgression
HO'OMAUHALA Period of unrest, still holding on to grudge, hostility
HO'OMALU A silent period, a "time-out"
OIA'I'O Absolute truth, the spirit of truth
MIHIForgiveness, repentance, apology, confession
KALATo release, untie, free, unbind
MO KA PIKOSever the umbilical cord; symbolically--to cut off an 'ohana member
PULE HO'OPAU Closing prayer

PULE WEHE

Ho'oponopono begins with pule wehe (opening prayer) as a way of asking for spiritual guidance. It is usually addressed to an 'aumakua and the god or gods to ask for strength and clarity.

KUKULU KUMUHANA

After the pule, the haku (leader) makes a statement of the problem or situation needing attention. This is a clear objective statement that sets the stage for ho'oponopono and is called kukulu kumuhana. Kukulu kumuhana is also a tool used to pool the mana or energy of the group and send it to someone in need.

MAHIKI, HALA, HIHIA

From here, the process of untangling emotions begins, one at a time, in search for hala or transgression. The tangling of emotions or hihia is a reaction to the hala and includes all the thoughts and deeds that follow as a result of an original transgression. This time is called mahiki, when the 'ohana talks about what has happened, taking into account each person's feelings and reactions to a specific action.

MAHIKI

The haku, though mahiki, deals with one problem at a time, tracing it from start to finish, where it is put to right. Like peeling an onion, each layer of the problem is separate and must be cleared before the next layer is approached. Mahiki is the disposing of action, motivation or emotion to reveal and dispose another layer of acts and feelings. As the 'ohana is able to understand the situation through mahiki and the identification of hala and hihia, the next step is mihi or forgiveness.

MIHI

Forgiveness is the obligation in ho'oponopono and must be arrived at to complete the process. Offenders must be willing to seek forgiveness for their thoughts and deeds while the offended must be able to truthfully forgive. If this point cannot be reached in an atmosphere of honesty, ho'oponopono must continue until it can. This is where a common commitment to be part of the solution is most important and where the 'ohana must focus its energy to encourage mutual forgiveness for the sake of its continued health.

HO'OMAUHALA, HO'OMALU, KUKULU KUMUHANA

If a person is unable to release himself and others from the hala or any part of tangled emotion, he/she is said to be ho'omauhala, to be holding a grudge. When this cannot be simply overcome, a period of silence for thought and reflection is asked for by the haku. This is called ho'omalu and is designed to cool down emotions and to look inwardly for strength and perspective. The haku might also wish to invoke the process of kukulu kumuhana in which the entire 'ohana focuses prayer and aloha on the individual in the group who is need of help and perspective to handle forgiveness. Both ho'omalu and kukulu kumuhana are tools for dealing with high levels of emotion and for invoking a sense of group responsibility for calming them. Another commonly used method involves the channeling of all discussion through the haku to partially disarm personal comments and individual reactions to them.

KALA

Once a point of forgiveness has been reached by individuals involved in the original hala, the next step is called kala, to release, to unite, to free each other completely.

KALA

Kala is a mutual process and requires an honest unbinding of the individuals involved from the wrong that bound them. Mihi makes for kala and when kala is done mihi is completed. It is important to stress though that there is no kala until there has been a complete severing of the wrongs and the personal conflicts between the individuals involved. A deep sense of resolution is not possible until these ties have been clearly severed.

MO KA PIKO

Ho'oponopono ends in resolution or else it is not complete. It may go on for hours or perhaps over a period of days, but resolution is essential. This does not mean though that all problems have amiable solutions. There is an option in ho'oponopono called mo ka piko, literally to sever the umbilical cord, that is used only in extreme cases. For instance, if an individual flatly refuses to participate in the problem solving process or to embrace the 'ohana with any sense of aloha, he/she may be cut off by the group and if restitution is not made they may be subsequently asked to leave the 'ohana for good.

PULE HO'OPAU

A successful ho'oponopono will end with a drained yet united and uplifted 'ohana. The process is put to rest with a pule ho'opau (closing prayer) which gives thanks for guidance and asks for continued support. Often when it is appropriate there might also be an exchange of small gifts between those who have been bound and now released by their emotions to symbolize the act of forgiveness.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Ho'oponopono was an integral product of the ancient 'ohana system. It must be carried out with a common understanding and commitment to the family in which subsistence and support were so essential. This implies that an Instructor, Coach, Educator, Administrator, etc. must focus on developing a sense of 'ohana first, before ho'oponopono can be effective. Without that common commitment there can be no sense of resolution for difficult problems.

Do not attempt to lead ho'oponopono if you are hihia. Find someone else to lead who is not personally involved.

Make sure the physical environment is conducive for the communication process (quiet, no distractions, etc.).

Make sure the 'ohana members know that a ho'oponopono takes time to accomplish. Schedules should be set accordingly. (Don't expect Western time constraints to work in this construct.) Ho'oponopono has been known to last between two hours to many days. 'Ohana members should stay the duration of a ho'oponopono. (No one leaves.)

SOURCE: The Hawaii Bound Instructors Manual, 1980.
COMPILED BY: Manu Meyer, UH Hilo Hawaiian Leadership.

HO'OPONOPONO
An Example

CHARACTERS

Haku - the mediator for the family "ho'oponopono"

Family Members

Kupuna - the retired grandparent who favors Alika as her favorite grandchild. Although the problem with Alika is very serious, the grandmother continues to do anything for the young man, including forgiving him of his mistakes without correcting the problem. She is soft and gentle with Alika.

Makua Kane - the father who does not get along with Alika. He thinks his wife and the grandmother spoil Alika. He favors his other two children because they both respond to his wishes, unlike Alika who never responds to his wishes of seeing him play manly sports. Father is a hardworking truckdriver and is a dedicated sports fan. He also smokes and drinks beer everyday.

Makua Wahine - mother who tries to achieve harmony in the family. Mother works part time to make ends meet. She is available at home after school for the children. She doesn't drink or smoke and is very religious. None of the other family members share this enthusiasm. Her health is frail.

Alika - Alika is 18 years old, has a girlfriend, a driver's license, and an allowance of $10 a week. He is a senior in high school and is preparing to leave home within a year. He is a good student with a 3.0 grade point average. Alika plays tennis and volleyball and is good at them.

Tita - Tita is Alika's sister who is two years his junior and his father's favorite. Tita is a little tattletale and resents the freedom given to Alika. Tita feels Alika is spoiled and is irresponsible. She has to keep house while Alika shares no responsibilities at home.

Junior - Alika's little brother who is a freshman and worships Alika as a hero. The father always makes comparisons to Alika as a bad example. Junior has great respect for his father but likes the attention and popularity of Alika.

THE SCENARIO FOR HO'OPONOPONO
(Select one scenario to play.)

  1. Alika has had his license revoked for drunken driving. This is a problem because he drives his mom to work and the children to school. This situation has upset the family because it has totally disrupted the family routine.
  2. Alika has been caught stealing from his grandmother in order to buy drugs because his habit has exceeded his weekly allowance. Alika's friend was seen with the well-known family heirloom and said he purchased the items from Alika. Alika's father suspects drug use because of the sporadic non-response and misbehavior. The family doesn't know about the drug use.
  3. Alika has recently discovered he has contracted the HIV virus because of his habit of sharing needles in his drug use. His family does not know he is a drug user. Tita has found out from a family friend who works in the community health clinic. The information came through receiving medical records.


Note: The participants in the small group will assume a character role in playing out the scenario.

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