Opening Lines of Communication

If Your Kids Ask, "Did You Ever Do Drugs?":

Experts agree that it’s best to be honest. Behavioral scientist Tony Biglan, Ph.D., suggests that answering this question untruthfully can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever discover that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you may decide that the time is not right to discuss the topic. As with other possibly sensitive topics such as sex, you should talk about it when you’re ready.

When you are ready to talk, Dr. Biglan says, “You don’t need to go into detail.” You can just give a short, honest answer like these:

• “When I was a kid I took drugs because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. We didn’t know as much as we do now about all the bad things that can happen when you smoke marijuana or use other drugs. If I’d known then about the consequences, I never would have tried drugs, and I’ll do everything I can to help you keep away from them.”
  
• “Everybody makes mistakes. When I used drugs, I made a big one. I’m telling you about this, even though it’s embarrassing, because I love you and I want to save you from making the same stupid decision I made when I was your age.”
  
• “I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks — the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”

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