Rochelle Lari, program leader for the Sandia National Laboratories' Diversity Leadership Program, wore the traditional dress of Iran, which includes a manto (coat), scarf and chador (veil) at her Women's History Month talk at the Lab. The chador can be worn various ways such as almost covering or low on the face to hide a woman's hair, said Lari. "We learn through storytelling and my story is about my journey, who I am and who my family is," said Rochelle Lari, program leader for Sandia National Laboratories' Diversity Leadership Program. Lari spoke last week in the Materials Science Laboratory Auditorium for Women's History Month.
"An American Woman in Iran," depicts Lari's personal journey to meet her Iranian immigrant's husband's family.
Lari said she met her husband Mohammad in 1976, while both were attending the University of New Mexico. They dated for four years before marrying in a civil ceremony, then by the church and eventually by Islamic tradition. The Laris have been married for 23 years.
To avoid being drafted into the Iranian military, Lari's husband could not return to Iran until he was 40 years old. His first journey home was made alone, but the following year, 1997, the Laris and their two sons traveled to Iran, she said.
Lari's husband has a large family of four brothers and five sisters and many other extended family members, which is similar to Hispanic culture, she said. To prepare for the journey in 1997, Lari learned about her husband's family's customs. One Iranian custom, she told the audience, is to provide gifts to all family members of equal value at an initial meeting. To be prepared, Lari compiled a spreadsheet of names and gift ideas such as American clothes and sizes, cosmetics, hair dye and dishes, she said.
Two weeks of gift packing and eight suitcases later, the family flew to Iran. "Our initial meeting was an instant connection of love; very emotional with kisses on both sides of the cheeks, lots of crying and hugging. I was the princess goddess who could do no wrong," Lari said.
According to Lari, upon extending her hand to her sister-in-law's husband he would push her hand away. Lari's husband later explained to her that she was not supposed to touch him, because he was [Mohammed Lari's] brother-in-law and technically not Lari's relative. "I pulled out the spreadsheet and tried to figure out who do I touch and who do I not touch. I learned to let them take the initiative," she said.
Lari said in Iran, family members eat and sleep a lot and food is served on the floor on a long tablecloth. "The food is prepared fresh and there are no prepackaged foods. We drink bottled Coke and everyone sits together," she said. After dinner family members come to visit and everyone sits on the floor on Persian rugs -- the same place where we sleep on mats, she added.
Lari described the south of Iran as dry and hot with average temperatures of 117 degrees and the north as beautiful because of the greenery, mountains and the Caspian Sea. She also said Iran is the only Islamic Republic in the Middle East.
Lari holds a piece of traditional art while standing in front of several art objects, such as leather paintings, jewelry boxes, small tapestries and a tea set that were purchased in Iran. Lari also is wearing her dowry of 18- and 22-karat gold jewelry that she says she doesn't normally wear to work. Photos by LeRoy N. Sanchez, Public Affairs
According to Lari, the Islamic Republic requires women to wear a manto (coat), scarf and chador (veil) in public. Lari found it difficult to accept wearing the chador at times, because of its cumbersome nature, especially in the heat, she said. She educated herself by asking family members what the chador represents to each of them. A respected aunt said, "The chador is my space, no one can come into my space unless I let them." Lari's sister-in-law said, "I wear the chador to demonstrate the love for God."
Lari said that today and in the future she and her family will keep their traditions intact including speaking the English, Spanish and Farsi languages along with their nuclear and extended family values.
"What I've learned is that there are good and bad people everywhere, to challenge assumptions and to strive for responsible journalism, to have compassion and empathy, to have a universal common ground and the importance of good deeds," Lari said.
Women's History Month activities at the Lab continue March 30 when renowned aviator Wally Funk speaks from 10 a.m. to noon, in the Materials Science Laboratory Auditorium at Technical Area 3. And student posters aimed at raising awareness of Women's History Month will be on display in the lobby of the Otowi Building at TA-3 through April 16.
The Women's Diversity Working Group, the Laboratory's Diversity/Affirmative Action Board and the Diversity (DVO) Office are sponsoring Women's History Month.
--Kathryn Ostic
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