Infancy Institutional @ut of continuing experience with institutions I begin to wonder whether they cannot be studied as though they were living things with periods akin to infancy, adolescence, maturity, and senility. a bionomic as well as an economic aspect to every institution. analogies in young institutions to the ego-centered infant? institution like the baby a larger surface relative to its small weight than the adult form? Are there not similar promising incertitudes, the same imperi- ous helplessness, similar short-spanned enthusiasms, and the same high mortal- ity of the infant? The characteristic episodes of many a small human being we summarize in the word infancy. draw for you a picture of institutionel infancy? manner. Unleash your admittedly resourceful imagination - unchain pur memories - the while taking full advantage of your discreetly faulty memory for nameso Maybe there is Are there not Has not the young May I indulge a weakness for generalization and Think of it in the cosmic Now let us take an institution;' you can think of any institution you pleasec school; it might be an institute of international sociology. this way. It might be a new kind of college; it might be a girls' But it begins The will of Nr. X - he's never salled ftXn, hers almys called Wr. Xn - Qb "-A\~.,,hW.\ eAr - r. J leaves $3,000,000 for a- to be cwa&wc3, and nanzes the board of trustees, consisting of one well-known figurehead and the rest business cronies of the erstwhile X, There are of course int5mtions of what is known as rfa good deal more €or endowment," when all the relatives have had their .hack at dha.llenging the Old %nts sanity rdien he was drawing up his will, dismay behind decorum, but, on bei.ng told by people who really knolrr wkt ought to be done, and sfter a hear-md-a-half's delay during which the-. all-g a e that d ** The trustees hide their - 2- the estate is being settled (not their minds), choose the well-known Dr. McCillicuddy as the head of the institution-to-be. He is chosen because in a moment of peevo he once mote threz Tsitriolic articles attacking the existing institutions of the Erne sort and is therefore known to >me Vision, After a year of quiet consultation and being the center of sll the congresses he attends, he finally announces a st2ff of eight, gathcreii frm - 211 over, eight know at least one other member of the assernblLng staff; fi-vo ;?*re total strangers to each other cae. to the rest, who nistook being asked for acbi-ce am? fully ewected. ta be of1ered places after an uderstanrhble delay, Three of the std? a*e secured from universities so great that they were on salariez of t-ienty-s5m hundred ti yex to balance the honor of being attached to so great a xmiversity - from iditch, hwmmr, they &re detached with singular speed by th2 mere offer of forty-Pi_ve hmidred plus free transport of the cribs, playpens, oil stoves, Corona typewriters, fireless cookers, book cases and Montgomery wardrobes associated, as you know, with ttierity-nine hundred s year. Three of the Tliis of cowse isn't to mcntion those The building, costing a little more than a nillion but a good deal more than expected, was to be ready in August, but trn strikes postpone the opening t2l.l Februaxy, That at least saves the institution frm giving a garden party on a nascent lawn. the gromds for the day of dedica5ion. A rusty stea roller is therefore the sole orrament upon Two weeks before the dcdication cerenonies Dr. KcGillicuddy, with heed- Ths result 5.2 the Sunday papers less, headlong enthusia<;n?, received the ?ress. was an effusion so fulsome and vainglorious as to be no more than an inextin- guishable caricature of the institution and its farslghted Leader -- thus damn- ing the future w5th the skepticism of those who know and the even more disastrous credulity of those who don't. At the dedication there are three pincipal speakers. There is an Outsider who explalns and expacds the National Yeed for the New Approach, address is followc! bjr an Insider who dilates upon the local competency to more than fill the National Need. He is followed by a representative of what is called with beautiful euqhmism and grace "a Sister Institution,'! The real fact is that the sister institution was spotted as the outfit wko have been doing it so bad2j. they are going to be shamed into oblivion by Dr. l!cGillicuddy and his grow, to wiping their eyeo and bewildered by what the Sunday papers did to him, thanks Cod that the pro- prieties relieve him from uttering a word. The dedication is then terminated lcith a prayer by the local rabbi and a benediction by the priest (it being quite understood that the institution is going to be entirely in the hands of Protestants anyhow). !lis But it is believed sportsmarilike to get their good will prior - Sitting on the platform Dr. McGiflicuddy, still shuddering Owing the first year of the institution's history the best young men in the region enroll upon its lists, reading into the reported size of the endowment their own hopes, and naturally enthralled by the insidious glimpse of vacant seats in a newly painted bandwagon. This galaxy of promising young men causes a murmur of jealousy in neighboring institut,ions, but is otherwise considered as a hopeful sign, At the end of three grueling years the situztion is about as follows. @ne of the original staff of eight has already left to bzcome the Chancellor of the University of Kokmo; one has died of a 135 hop. sports car; two more have found that the institution is not what thought it ms going to be; and another has found, more intelligently, t5at the institution isn't even what Dr. McGillicuddy thought it was going tc be, and furthermore is inclined to doubt whether it ever could have been. which is easily done because they have turned out to be not what Dr, McGillicuddy That leaves three to be accounted for, -L- thought they'd be; but they have married local girls and are not disposed to leave, partly because there are no inquiries for their services from elsewhere, and partly because they are ineffably remote to self-reproach anyhow. Replace- ments of the departed ones have been chosen on the basis of availability and with the main view to filling the gaps, and are consequently not given any en- couragement to be themselves except during the summer vacation. after a hopeful three-year period of grace and delay, to be impeccable dudso All turn out, The fifth year Dr. McGillicuddy disappears for a week, but he has actually left for the metropolis with a copy in his new satchel of the Russell Sage publication, ~ r . ut Aw+4&Qm. T~%.~4@k&%* $7 'ssr.:.;Q hn In quarters you .. may never even have heard of he describes the institution as being "faced with a challenge," which is pedFguese for an mistakable deficit. the visit is communicated on Cr. McGillicuddyls return only to the Treasurer, d& The end result of because the Treasurer used to be a travelling salesman earlier in life and would understand,,.No sales - no prospects, The ninth year is marked by an energetic campaign anong the alumni to get representation on the board of trustees, accompanied by unsubstantiated rumors of an alumni fund for the library. alwnni aren't old enough or myP enough yet to raise a fund for a library - But anyone would have known the CL bL4 stadium more like. Owing the next five years the original trustees all die off, and nuch time is spent trying to educate their bewildered successors, two bankers and thee corporation lawyers, a frightened minister and a high 5ChOOl principal of great natural dignity. In the twelfth year the most forceful member of the original research staff goes off the deep end on his own particular hobby, Beginning by self-pity which is magnificently abetted by a loyal wife, and end- ing by a delicious blend of truculence and obstructionism, he can be held at bay only by giving him eight roms in the east wing and separate status as -5- Director of the XcIntyre Research Division of the whole shebang - McIntyre being the father of the wife of one of the trustees who didn't like the U.S. Collector of Internal Revenue and hoped to spite him by giving it awayo The thirteenth year sees Dr. McGillicuddy's sixtieth birthday celebrated by a large testimonial dinner and 5y the forced erection of a mrble gateway to the red brick main building, This is the unswerring, the relentless gift of a local maiden who was once crossed in love and has never been crossed since, It is known as the McGillicuddy Gate. Three years later begin furtive consultations of a large red volume czlled *When Is Who in America*? to ascertain exactly when Dr. McGillicuddy will be sixty-five. But the Old &n skillfully eludes the obvious by a trip to Eng- land in search of a visiting professor, after bestowing, however, an honorary degree on the one trustee who never attended any one of the \ssc colleges which speckle this fair land. Where his sixtieth birthday was passed in cheers, XcGillicuddyfs sixty-eighth birthday is observed in whispers. At sixty-nine he espouses the fond doctrine "never resign under pressure," He reaches seventy- one before the youngest trustee cleverly discovers that in one more year NcGil- licuddy will have Rkahe what is known as a "Quarter Century of Service." So the CbYu *\