Drew Curtis' FARK.com

At least 30 states are outsourcing IT jobs, using tax dollars to pay for it. Your dog wants curry

(82)

(state.gov)

"Significant Terrorist Incidents, 1961-2003: A Brief Chronology"

(120)

(accountingweb.com)

Woman leaves $1.1 billion to her accountant. In a surprise move, her family has decided to challenge the will

(36)

Couple accidently given nearly £25,000, spend it in just six days. Jailarity ensues

(59)

Old woman puts intruder to sleep with stories, photos

(46)

Southwest Airlines flight from Houston lands at BWI with 12 unconscious passengers. Airline officials believe the illness may be food-related. Airline officials forgot Southwest doesn't serve food

(121)

Surgeon loses his head during testicle operation, cuts off patient's penis. Hospital officials considering giving surgeon the shaft

(114)

(Business Report)

Cartoonist claims Nike stole his concept for stickman drawings. Thousands of kindergartners to follow-up with class-action suit

(81)

(Bored at Work)

Everyone's thinking it. You just type it over here ------->

A desperate letter from Roger Ebert warning the childen of the horror that is "A Cinderella Story"

(146)

(Ozarks Newsstand)

Man distraught to find his ass was stolen

(42)

(New Yorkish)

Man spends life in search of overpriced, generic, terrible-tasting coffee

Man known as the "parking meter fairy" has a pink curly wig

(47)

(AllAfrica)

"100 Kids Roasted in School Fire." No, that's the actual headline

(397)

Jack Black gets the greenlight to play Green Lantern

(241)

House of Represenatives finally grows a pair (where applicable); votes to cut off aid to an "ally" that has been raising oil prices, funding terrorists, cutting off people's heads, etc.

(lots)

And we were all, "Hey, we're the UN, we can do what we want, when we want to." And Palestine was like, "NUH-UH, GIRLFRIEND"

(166)

"Sly fox" caught stealing newspapers. Must be desperate after their one hit single

(39)

Unfinished copy of U2's upcoming CD disappears. World breathes collective sigh of relief

(184)

Kids who sit around watching too much TV more likely to become overweight, smoke and click on every Fark boobies link they see

(77)

Psychic predicts what life will be like in 2030. Oddly, does not mention second term for President Curtis

(150)

Photoshop this plume of eerie smoke

(115)

Britney has cellulite, grabs her boyfriend's weener. The Sun is there

(277)

Singapore lifts ban on sitcom featuring the "hot, horny, crazy ladies"

(29)

Hollywood is out of ideas: Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo

(83)

(KSL.com)

When attempting to throw a large firework mortar out of your car, ensure the window is rolled down first

Martha Stewart sentenced to five months in federal pound-her-in-the-ass prison and two years pound-her-in-the-ass probation

(477)

AudioEdit your final thoughts before dying in the best or worst possible way

(18)

(NY Daily News)

Britney's boost wasn't booze?

(132)

Bobby Fischer detained at airport in Japan. Insists he's just a pawn and that he's getting rooked

(139)

Man drowns in septic tank -- what a crappy way to go

(123)

(New Straits Times)

Thief snatches bag of money from polio victim, immediately gets creamed by hit-and-run driver

(80)

What is the best Saturday Morning Cartoon ever?

Chillicothe, Ohio high school announces new dress codes. Arreola approves

(80)

(Negative Person)

In recent breaking news, MCI discovers their employees' negativity and sends memo with encouraging words... at least they still have the coffee

Cat Walking 101: As if your cat didn't hate you enough

(100)

Photoshop this hippie and his remote-control addiction

(98)

Health benefits in yummy red wine soon to be available in tasteless pill form

(41)

Woman threatened with court action for failure to repay an unemployment insurance overpayment of $0.05

(41)

Iowa church plans book burning. Fire chief nixes it; suggests shredding. "Not biblical enough," responds pastor

(263)

(VH1)

The great heavy metal bands are all 20+ years old

(181)

Brockway, Ogdenville, N. Haverbrook and now Las Vegas. What's that word? Monorail

(79)

Atheist to deliver opening prayer at Tampa council meeting

(177)

Maryland prison guard protests dismissal. Attorney for the state claims guard fired for her own safety after nude photographs of her raised "quite a ruckus" at her prison

(58)

(cbs 3)

Nude canoeing banned on Missouri's Elk River. Nude kayaking still okay

(32)

(Some Telemarketer)

The 16th is "Talk to a Telemarketer Day"

(71)

Vietnamese boy killed by mousetrap. Stuart Little surrenders to police

(27)

(gotfuturama.com)

Two years after its last episode was made, Futurama garners two Emmy nominations

(214)

Blonde with absolutely amazing boobies (not safe for work)

(216)

Arkansas giant snake, wild cats, coelacanths, hairy elephants: Prehistoric monsters make a return

(35)

Teenager's stylin' mullet causes controversey (pic)

(185)

To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Thu July 15, 2004:

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# of Comments

Soccer team to wear Spider-Man uniforms. Goalie expected to do well with new webshooting ability

(42)

Something fishy going on at BWI -- chain-reaction vomitting as plane lands

(223)

Giant fissure, not unlike the gates of Hell, opens in the ground in southeast Arizona

(99)

(Some Horny Norwegian)

Norway listed as the best place to live again. Oddly enough, public sex not one of the listed reasons

(105)

(Grand Forks Herald)

How the Simpsons have changed popular culture

This year's All Star Game received its worst ratings since 1970. Bud Selig to announce that next year's losing team is executed in attempt to get more people to watch

(81)

(Some redneck)

Old and busted: Lady redneck bellyflopper. New hotness: Man redneck bellyflopper

(91)

(Newark Advocate)

Ohio executes another "volunteer." Taxpayers "victorious"

(104)

(Twinkies)

Vote for your favorite Twinkies box design

(108)

Airline passengers swap first-class seats with homeward-bound soldiers

(194)

(Cincinnati.com)

Cincinnati Bengals suck so bad, they have to sue fans to get them to buy season tickets

(65)

Your ally, Saudia Arabia: Where you can rape your foreign maid, then have her jailed for having an "illegal pregnancy"

(292)

John Edwards says he takes his wife to Wendy's on their anniversary every year

(131)

Acupuncture patient left on clinic table; therapist forgets about her, locks up practice and goes home

(92)

In the wake of last week's "F--- for Forests" stunt, more couples spotted having sex in public in Norway. Not surprisingly, alcohol involved

(Sign On San Diego)

Bryant elects to stay with the Los Angeles Kobies... errr, Lakers

Massive stash of child porn found at Roman Catholic seminary. Submitter torn between using the "obvious" or "scary" tag

(229)

Michael Moore invited to become Canadian citizen to avoid charges

DNA tests show three-quarters of the fish sold as red snapper in the U.S. are in fact other fish species; other 25 percent have been used in rude ways by Jimmy Page

(66)

Man invents giant eight-foot-tall beer can. Sadly, the emphasis is on the "can" rather than the "beer"

(38)

One lucky fan will win a free cremation tonight at a minor league baseball game

(35)

(Daily Herald)

Alabama town which calls itself the "Sock Capital of the World" may soon lose that title to China. Mighty sock lobby pressuring Bush to limit sock imports

(74)

(Newsfilter.org)

One hot army brat: Linda O'Neil (not safe for work)

(186)

The Motor City outlaws trunk-thumping subwoofers

(270)

Frenchmen break into Lance "One Nut" Armstrong's hotel room. Look for drugs because they all think he is a doper

(179)

Will Smith is on a crusade against the use of dry toilet paper

(174)

(Nature)

Stephen Hawking says it's possible that stuff can escape from a black hole. Thousands of sci-fi novels and comic books to be re-written

(124)

Gorgeous blond Page Three girl riding a dolphin (not safe for work)

(165)

(CapeTimes)

Colors on color TV banned in Zimbabwe

Lawmakers, veterinarians trying to get a circus to stop an act in which a cat makes a 50-foot leap onto a pillow

(119)

Photoshop the results of a careless spelling eror

(138)

(Blender)

"Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that." -- Dave Chappelle

(262)

Their attempt at world domination thwarted, cicadas return to subterranean lair to plot their revenge for the next 17 years

(62)

Reporter's principal job is editing buttcracks out of cartoons.

(40)

(West Valley News)

Man puts up sign at his house: "For Sale By Owner, 4 Whites Only." No word on whether sale price includes washer, dryer, burning cross

(lots)

Man calls female owner of lost parrot and offers to return it in exchange for sex. No comment from the parrot

(56)

If you are going to commemorate the 9/11 tragedy with a Ground Zero memorial, make sure the date of the tragedy is correctly inscribed

(106)

(Post-Gazette)

Today's "too many damn cats" story brought to you by the fine city of Pittsburgh

(71)

It's that time of year again when people pretend to care that teachers don't get paid jack

(298)

This week's Naked Joke, Sydney Moon: Everything I Need (not safe for work)

(80)

Expert predicts lowest berry crop in 13 years. Muffins and pancakes scramble for replacement

(46)

Science museum to recycle visitors' poo for power

(55)

In an effort to look worse than Bush, Kerry admits to sleeping on the job

(The Omaha Channel)

Omaha was bombed by the Japanese in World War II

(111)

(Mirror)

Unlikely tag team of Lionel Richie and Lenny Kravitz break up bar room brawl

(65)

Microsoft's new business IM software to feature interoperability with AIM and Yahoo Messenger

Vietnam Idol calls contestant "outrageous," is scorned for being too harsh. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?

(36)

(The Sun Herald)

Typical Mississippi summer storm produces damaging lightning, hail and frozen falling fish

(81)

Rampaging wild boar bites finger off lawyer, butts housewife in the ass, then runs back into woods

Study by DirectTV finds Denver has the most fanatical sports fans. Duke sucks

(107)

(WNBC)

"Angels in America" and "Sopranos" earn the highest number of Emmy nominations. "According to Jim" surprisingly not nominated for Best Comedy

(106)

Government scraps frequent-traveller security bypass program

(96)

Israeli spies arrested by New Zealand authorities. Israeli reaction "might have been different if a larger and more influential country had been involved"

(lots)

(Springfield News)

And up from the ground came some bubblin'... uh... molasses?

(37)